Thursday 11 May 2017

Feeling Like A Fraud

If you look at my last post, you'll see that it's dated February. A whole three months ago. Three months where blogging took a back seat in my life due to other things going on in my little world.

I didn't not blog because I fell out of love with it, the truth was I had so much going on in my life that something had to give, and unfortunately, blogging took the hit!

The past three months have been a whirlwind... if you follow me on Instagram then you'll more than likely know what I've been up to..!

On a few occasions though, I've had blogging doubts. I love writing, and love sharing my experiences on this space on the internet, but the longer I left picking up pen to paper as the expression goes, the more I was like - who cares about what I have to say? Who cares, when there are a million other blogs out there?

I know we all have moments of self-doubt, but it just really seemed to niggle away at me.

I've also found that more and more, across my social media channels (Instagram in particular), people seem to be telling a story in their post captions? I don't know if any one else feels the same, but for me it's made me reevaluate the blogging and social relationship / space. People's attention spans are shorter than ever, we're bombarded with more information potential than we ever have been before, and our time is seen to be more 'precious' than it ever has been - information overload couldn't be a more apt term!

I absolutely love the blogging space as somewhere to fully let loose and talk about a topic in great depth, but I think that Instagram is somewhat replacing the medium and allowing people to talk about those subjects in succinct, scrollable ways, which seems to fit in more with the time we have on our hands! So that's been one of the reasons that's put me off, if I'm being totally honest.

That extra click, taking you off Instagram to a webpage, that extra bit of time, eating into social browsing time... even if I don't click there and then, I'll see a post I know I want to go back and read and make a mental note to go back and click, but rarely do as I get distracted by something else...

I'd save up blog links and people's stories / feeds to consume in one go (like on a Sunday morning with a cup of tea in bed), but found that I was turning this into a personal admin 'task' that didn't really seem relaxing, more like ticking things off a list.

And also, I didn't want friends to think I wasn't being supportive: feeling guilty when I hadn't liked a post, seeing that they'd uploaded a number of blog posts and not had the time to read them...

That, combined with not having blogged myself for a couple of months, made me hesitant to start back up. Emails from PRs and companies clogged my inbox and made me dread looking at it, which sounds ridiculous, I know!

SO, I've decided that I'm coming back. I love blogging, I'm grateful for all the opportunities it's given me and I genuinely believe everyone should have a corner of the internet to call home.

With a new job just round the corner offering a new direction in my career, I'm seeing this as a fresh start with blogging too, and really hope I can stick to creating useful, interesting & relate-able content... even if it's just a select few people that read it!

Thank you for sticking with me xx

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